1. Now that I’ve had time to process

    In the month since I saw you last my mind has helplessly circled over and over the memories of our short time together. Everything from the way it felt as we danced to waking up in your arms. I miss the romance of our short tryst. I’m not very good with keeping in contact, but there’s a tension in the way we text. It’s as if we’re both saying “I’ve been thinking about you, are you thinking of me ?” and replying with, “don’t forget me.” 

    I’m trying to decide if my constant reflection of the events mean I have feelings. Are these butterflies that rise up just boredom, or am I simply processing what I tried hard to block back then ? I’m left with so many questions. Am I reading the tension properly? Is this a sign that you have feelings? Are these signs that whatever happened we’re both looking to pick up where we left off when we’re reunited? 

    The phone call was unexpected, even if you asked. What does that mean? It was a short call but it has my head spinning. I am developing feelings ? 

     
  2. 01:07 30th Jul 2014

    Notes: 2

    Reblogged from hamartiahubrisbathos

    hamartiahubrisbathos:

    My mom and dad with my newborn self. She just sent these to me for some reason.

    In honour of my birth

     
  3. 01:05

    Notes: 1

    It’s my birthday.

    Twenty today.

    Obviously I’m still a baby and I don’t count it until the moment - 5:30…but no one but me really cares. My mom will know I do though. 

    I’m not hungry but I want to eat everything in sight. Which is more like me. Unlike my typical of this year attitude which was don’t eat ever.  

    Now I’m thinking that text wasn’t meant for me but that guy sent me a text saying “call tomorrow ?”  time zones mean it’s yesterday and if it wasn’t for me I can blame it on the birthday but over all I’m weirded out and I don’t think he’d know it’s my birthday.  ugh. Why do I find the more I think about any of this the more emotions happen to magically appear ? 

     
  4. 03:09 27th Jul 2014

    Notes: 1

     
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  6. 03:11 22nd Jul 2014

    Notes: 1

    Tags: gooood day

    Made pretzels and went to the beach today.

     
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  9. image: Download

     
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  11. I’m doing very well. Vacation life has been good to me.

    It’s nice to fall asleep to the sound of the ocean. It’s nice to wake up so comfortable in my bed. So happy to face the new day with its adventures.

    I do worry though. I worry about not being polite enough or talking too much or being unhelpful. I don’t wish to be annoying. I hope her family doesn’t mind me. —-

    I still think about my fling. What it’s like to fall asleep being held. He texted me the other day. Not over ?

     
  12. 02:05

    Notes: 1

    Hawaii so far

     
  13. I think I have a uti. And my back really hurts.
    I was hoping it might clear itself up but I’m not sure.

     
  14. This short week that I’ve been home

    Has been crazy. The image of a chicken running around with its head off comes to mind.

     
  15. 01:38 7th Jul 2014

    Notes: 1

    My family called me and they distress me so much. So many voices. So much crude humour- offensive humour. I don’t know how in less than 20 minutes over the phone they can make me feel so hostile and stupid.